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Sunday, June 10, 2012

Ordinary Haiku, June 10, 2012

Pickle jar, sunshine

Oil, salt and vegetables

Ordinary day

(my granny used to love making pickles for us, this is for her)


Ordinary day

She comes, fine ballerinas

Summer becomes spring.

(Summer in Delhi is unbearable, uncomfortably hot but when she comes my summer becomes spring. This is for the most beautiful girl I know.)

Haiku Heights and Haiku my Heart

15 comments:

  1. This comment has been removed by the author.

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  2. Very refreshing set.. both the pickles and the spring girl ;)

    Painting heart with hope

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  3. Lovely set.. :) seasons and people contrasting :) lovely!

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  4. Wonderful haiku ~ feeling 'lighter' already ~ ballerinas come ~ lovely line ~ thanks, ^_^ (A Creative Harbor)

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  5. I like your tributes, Tarun.. but don't you feel something missing here?

    Usually, one reads haiku without explanations.. so I take yours that way and see :)

    How does the conclusion "ordinary day" come from the first two lines? A connection factor is missing I feel.. same fore the second, "she who?" "how summer turns to spring" etc.

    Perhaps something like:

    made only for us
    with no ordinary love -
    grandmother's pickles

    (and)

    balm for my summers
    no ordinary love, hers -
    spring returns for me

    would express the thought better. :)

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    Replies
    1. hey Leo thanks a lot... I guess I need to practice more to get better but thanks, I got the idea how it should be...

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  6. tarun,
    i love them both!
    the first is so salt of the earth and brimming with the fragrance of memories. your use of the words, ordinary day is comforting to me, as if summer always included jars of pickles. it is interesting that leo suggests haiku need no explanation. my instincts say this is true for two reasons. not relying on an explanation helps us to strive and contemplate longer in choosing our words and not explaining also allows the reader to experience what our words invoke in them. that is such a powerful part of a great haiku, calling out deep memories and response from the reader.
    i love that you dedicated it to your grandmother.
    dedications are offerings of acknowledgement are always welcome.

    the second?
    pure romance.
    drop the plural from ballerinas and we know exactly who you are waxing euphoric about!

    beautiful.
    thank you for sharing your heart with us all.

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  7. Visual and taste delights enigmatically paralleled! Beautiful!

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  8. Heartfelt love in its best display Tarun, I stay in coasts of India and it has started raining here :)

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  9. lovely set dear...loved both of them... :)

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  10. After what Rebecca and Leo have said...nothing more is needed...haiku are beautiful..but they don't let me think think andmake a picture because you have already thought for me too..

    RS:)

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  11. Nice Haiku. Love the choice of words.

    Namaste

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